The First Years Out

As long-time readers know, I was let go from a job that started out great but turned out to be one of the most challenging experiences of my young, inexperienced life.  I learned a lot of lessons from those three years but one of the most important lessons learned is that I will never be as erudite or witty as my co-worker/friend/partner-in-crime-and-drinking Kate.

Kate is just one of those all around awesome people, who (conveniently for me), wrote a great blog post last spring about the stages of post-collegiate life (click it!  read it!  love it!)*  I love this post because it showcases not only Kate’s trademark levity but also covers some serious ground.  According to Kate, here is what will happen after you graduate**:

  • You will move back home – This was only not true for me because I was very comfortable with being exceptionally poor.  Like, skipping meals to buy $2 PBRs at bars where the bartenders would conveniently forget I had more than one poor.
  • You will have a terrible job – Sorry, folks.  This is a non-negotiable.  You will have a terrible job, be terribly underpaid, and probably hate yourself a little bit.  And as for crying at your desk?  That happens to the best of us.  Embrace it.
  • You will get a pet – Kate got a dog.  I prefer minions.  Either way, you’ll need something to love you unconditionally when everything feels like it’s going wrong.
  • You will go to graduate school – Let’s be honest, all of y’all are in graduate school or already have that secondary degree or are in the midst of applying.  Even I can’t hold out forever…
  • You will be jealous of your peers’ lives – Whether it’s job envy or a desperate yearning to afford the vacations that everyone else seems to take, you will hate Facebook and it’s annoying window into the wonderful lives of others.  The good news is that in a few years, the divorces and epic burn-outs of your peers will start replacing all this good news, so at least you can revel in a little schadenfreude.
  • You will have so much fun – Amen, sister friend.  Those first three years out were hard (and it’s not gotten that much easier) but the amount of fun you have barely scraping by with great friends to commiserate with cannot be overstated.  And as long as you remember to have fun, everything seems to work itself out eventually.

*This post was originally published on the George Washington University Honors Program blog.  Even if you’re not a GW student (or an honors student), they have a lot of great resources!

**As a disclaimer, I agree with the author that these stages only apply to poor, pathetic humanities majors.  Engineers and science nerds, congratulations on your decent salaries and job security!