I find job hunting to be a bit of an exercise in sadomasochism. I love the thrill that a new job holds and perusing job listings can practically be a game of “imagine my life if…” Being a nerd, I enjoy crafting the perfect cover letter and as a crossword/Jeopardy enthusiast, I take pleasure in the challenge of pummeling my resume into something that resembles an actual career progression. For someone with a bit of OCD in them, job hunting can set you on a control high.
But then. How quickly things change. Once you’ve sent your resume, once it’s out of your hands, the torture begins. The first step – waiting – isn’t the worst. I generally play the game of lowered expectations – they won’t want me, I’m not the right fit, I don’t care about this job anyway. It’s the next phase – the follow-up, the interviews, the samples, the so-close-you-can-taste-it that kills me.
I could write an entire post about job interviews (and probably will) because I hate them. They’re like bad first dates – awkward, uncomfortable, forced, and with all the power in the hands of the more attractive party (in this case, the employer.) Phone interviews are even worse – you lose all the important conversational clues we rely on to make a good impression. Every step in the process is trial by fire – impress them enough on the phone, you get to submit writing samples, the samples are good, so you have to impress them in person, possibly multiple times – it’s exhausting!
Naturally, this is on my mind because I have a job interview today for a job that I very much want but would like to pretend that I don’t to prepare myself if I don’t get it. The process has been a hurts so good combination of exciting and stressful. If I don’t get it, I’ll be very disappointed and back to square one – but at least I have a plan for square one. If I do get, I have to relocate quickly, tackle some major financial hurdles in a short amount of time, and make a strong impression immediately to hold on to the position.
Despite my attempts to play it cool, I want this job. Badly. It would be worth the stress and complications and difficulties for what I think could be the next serious chapter in my life. So, I’m throwing myself into today’s interview. Keep your fingers crossed!